Happy Mother’s Day ! Being a mom is the most challenging yet rewarding job I have ever had in my life . I consistently put someone before myself ( which came easy) . I give even when I think I have no more to give(I always have a little more) . It requires a patience that I didn’t even know that I possessed . It has joys I have never experienced , and it has open my heart to a new level of love. I know I was meant to be a mom , and I couldn’t imagine my life without our daughter even if I tried. The moment I found out that I had this life growing inside of me , I was filled with a joy that I had never felt before . It was at that moment I began to fully understand the way my mother felt about her children . I could understand God’s unconditional love for us , because I had this unconditional love for someone who I hadn’t even met yet . I didn’t know what motherhood would be like , or if I would even be good at it. I have a host of nieces and nephew , but I wasn’t completely sure how to take care of a baby . The one thing I did know for sure that I shared a bond with this little person that no one else on this earth could possibly ever have . We are connected for life . I saw a quote on Pinterest that sums this up perfectly . “No one will ever understand the love I have for you , after all you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside” (author unknown) . Truthfully I always wanted to be a mother , but I never really knew if I would become one .
Before I continue I would like to acknowledge and say Happy Mother’s Day to all the women who have ever lost a child , are trying to get pregnant , or can not carry a child . My heart and prayers go out to each and every one of you . May God hear your prayers and smile on you in a special way on today .
You see I don’t take this lightly . My daughter didn’t have to be alive .
I was induced on December 3 , 2013 . After having a balloon attached to my cervix (to make me dilate) , given pitocin , contractions not being strong enough to dilate me past 5cm, two epidural , and me having a fever it was time for me to push at about 8:15 pm the next night. As I pushed I heard the machine that was monitoring my daughter’s heart beat become slower and slower. I thought to myself “Lord help me to get this baby out” . Two pushes later she was out , but she made no noise. In fact it was silent. The neonatal team began to work on her while she was in the room. They showed me what she looked like told me to give her a kiss and rushed her to the NICU. I told my husband to go with them , and just like that she was gone. No skin to skin, or bonding time. I remember asking my mother why my baby wasn’t crying ? she told me they just needed to clean her noise and her mouth. Later she told me that she was praying in her mind because the monitor would show the baby’s heart beat stopping completely. She prayed “God please do something. My daughter was barely breathing.
The next time I saw my daughter she had a tube down her throat and noise and was hooked up to a ventilator help her to breathe. when I started talking she started to move her head (as much as she could) as if she was searching for me. I baby recognized my voice. I thought the she thought I deserted her, but we were trusting God that she would be healthy. The next morning when we came to see her , they removed the tube in her throat . Then by the afternoon, they removed the one in her noise and we could finally do skin to skin . Oh ! They also thought she had lung abnormalities but her x-rays showed that she had none. She remained in the hospital for about four days and was given a clean bill of health !
I believe, no I know God saved my baby that day and for that I am so grateful. 5 months later she has brought so much joy to our lives! I can not say how much I thank God for her , I pray that he directs us in every decision we make concerning her. We serve a great and mighty God ! That’s why I’m so grateful this Mother’s Day 🙂